2 Goomba’s Pizza & Cafe

1 Reviews on “2 Goomba’s Pizza & Cafe”

• Scott Garavito

  I’d rather chew off my pinkie than eat there again.Like many others, we were headed somewhere else but it was closed for the 4th of July and this was in the same vicinity.We walk in and everyone looks pissed off. My dad thought it was a local place and they hated out of towners. We wish! We sit in the last bench and my mom hits her head on the fake chimney that protrudes over the table. Totally her fault because so many places have fake chimneys to hit you in the face. My dad orders a bud light and the guy says we are lucky as that is the last one. First, who admits that with a neon bud light sign in the window? Second, it is 8 on a Saturday! I ask for a coke and the guy says Pepsi ok?, I then ask for a dr pepper and we are all set. Next I know, the guy is pouring my Dr P out of a two liter into a cup. They literally have a see thru fridge filled with opened 2 liters. Question. Does this qualify you as having a contract with Pepsi? I mean if you are going to just buy 2 liters and sell cups for profit, would it hurt to buy a little variety?The family next to us looks so mad and we can’t figure out why. Then a lady comes over and says , I know you’ve been waiting forever but we messed up your pizza and had to throw it away. What!? I have NEVER been to a pizzeria that messed up a pizza to the point of tossing it. The guy is so mad, I think he’s about to explode and I quickly deduce this isn’t the first strike against 2 goombas. My little son tells me he has to go to the bathroom and I escort him in. As expected the toilet flusher makes a complete 360 when pressed and after three tries with no flushing I give up. Man, are we lucky someone hadn’t dropped a present in the famous 2 Goombas non flush toilet. While I was trying, I was holding my son back so he wouldn’t get a look at the big spider under the toilet looking at me that clearly didn’t build that huge web in an afternoon.Return to the seat and I figure it all out. Everyone ( about 10) in the restaurant looking pissed are not pissed at anyone but the staff. Some new staffer shows up, cigarette in hand and asks a family what they ordered. They reply with the added we have been waiting a long time. I immediately see others shake their heads in agreement. I feel like I’m watching a live version of national lampoons vacation. Family next to us finally get their pizzas and father takes a bite and throws it down in disgust. WAIT? They got both pizzas they ordered and my question is did they ruin both or did they fake the whole thing or did they decide no pissed off starving family would only want one pizza while we fixed the other. While my restaurant neighbor is about to go postal, the guy brings our plates and surprise! He’s one short. I decide I’ll wait for the extra plate to come after we tell him.30 mins later and I ask for refill. Guy takes my cup and disappears for 15 mins at least. Family next to us is done and husband tells staff he’s not paying for the garbage they are passing off as pizza. Cigarette man shows up out of nowhere and asks him what’s wrong. He says the pizza is raw and I can clearly see he’s right. Again I’m pondering the strategy at play, we burned their first so let’s give them ice pizza to completely confuse them. Now I should probably admit I have never made a pizza in a pizza oven but it seems like the cooking process should be down pat after 20 years of trying. Why 20 years? Because as soon as the pissed off family leaves the cigarette man says, one mistake in twenty years and they never let you live it down. We must have been privileged because we saw two mistakes on one family on our first visit.After 45 minutes our pizza arrives ( how come at every pizza place in Greensboro when you call they say it will be ready in 15 minutes?) after my first bite I inspect my piece because I’m so intrigued on how they got cardboard to look so much like pizza. As others have said, I think they take frozen pizza crusts, poop their toppings on, and serve undercooked. The Hawaiian pizza had exactly one piece of pineapple on each piece. I was kinda shocked to see more than one piece of pepperoni on our meat lovers. Up until this point, I have been sharing plates as mine has never shown up and to help wash this garbage down, a drink would be nice but my cup never returned. Around this time I see the guy who took my drink 15 mins ago sitting at the counter watching Rocky on the tv. When we ask for my drink he says my bad. When we ask for my plate, he responds I thought I gave you four. He did but as we had five in our party, I can only assume he was trying to Jedi mind trick us. Well played sir.Everyone hated their pizza but as we had waited so long, we begrudgingly ate until we were full. Pissed off customers, spider attacks in the bathroom, non flushing toilets, raw pizza, yellow salt in the salt shakers, disappearing staff, attack chimneys, and as we left we saw the Jimmy Walker autographed picture from Good times. Avoid!!!!!!!

  October 5, 2015, 9:43 am

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